Forties AF

Oops! I Full Episode 16

Episode Summary

Brianna brings the girls along for the big reveal of her baby’s gender, while Chanise takes a bold step by enrolling in community college. Meanwhile, a meeting with Olivia’s agent opens the door for Hope, landing her a coveted role as a writer’s assistant on a television show.

Episode Notes

SEASON 3: EPISODE 16 (Oops!)

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Episode Transcription

Episode 16: Oops!

Written by: Tanisha Quilter-Williams

SCENE 1 A

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

FX: BRIANNA BREATHING HEAVILY, WOBBLING TOWARD THE ELEVATOR.

BRIANNA: (V.O.) Cankles, 70 extra pounds, back hurting, and I can’t see my toes. Only two more months to go, and after going back and forth on whether we want to know our wonder baby’s gender, Jamie still won’t budge. But I have an appointment today, and I want to know. Forget a gender reveal party.

FX: BRIANNA CONTINUES DOWN THE HALL TO THE RECEPTION DESK.

BRIANNA: (V.O.) So, I asked Chanise to meet me.

FX: BRIANNA KNOCKS ON THE GLASS PARTITION, AND THE RECEPTIONIST SLIDES IT ASIDE.

BRIANNA: Brianna Styles, 9:30 a.m.

RECEPTIONIST: Sign in here and have a seat.

FX: THE RECEPTIONIST SLIDES THE PARTITION BACK. BRIANNA SIGNS IN AND GOES TO SIT DOWN.

CHANISE: Baby got back! Damn  girl !

FX: BRIANNA TURNS AROUND TO GREET CHANISE.

BRIANNA: Chanise! You made it.

CHANISE: Of course, girl. When I was pregnant, Lionel and I were always beefing, and you know my mom was the last person I could depend on. I’m always going to be here to support you.

HOPE: Ladies, I came bearing lox and bagels.

BRIANNA: Hope?

BRIANNA: (V.O.) Now, Hope knows damn well she was not invited. I guess Chanise told her. Ugh, probably why she knew not to come empty-handed.

BRIANNA: Give me that. 

FX: BRIANNA SNATCHES THE BAG OUT OF HOPE'S HAND AND CHOWS DOWN.

CHANISE: Hope, what are you all dressed up for?

HOPE: Ladies, you are looking at the newest writer’s assistant for that TV show On The Outside.

CHANISE: Congratulations!

FX: THE LADIES CELEBRATE WITH A HI-FIVE.

BRIANNA: Wait! Isn’t that the show with that fine-ass actor Brock... What’s his name?

CHANISE: Brock Bush. Ooo wee! Now, that’s what I’m talking about.

FX: CHANISE CLAPS HER HANDS TOGETHER.

CHANISE: Hope, do you know what the fuck this means?

BRIANNA: Chanise… lower your voice, please.

FX: BRIANNA TYPES ON HER PHONE.

CHANISE: (WHISPER) We need an invite to the set.

BRIANNA: Look, look!

HOPE: That’s him.

BRIANNA: He was nominated for an NAACP award last year. He didn’t win, though. Hope, make it happen.

HOPE: Let me get in good first.

BRIANNA: I’m so proud of us. We are really evolving.

HOPE: I wish I could evolve enough to stop thinking about Tre’s wedding day. After rescheduling for the third time, it’s almost here. My mom held on to her invite. Can you believe she still plans on going? What happened to “if we break up…”

CHANISE: Bish, we all break up.

FX: THEY ALL AGREE.

BRIANNA: That part.

CHANISE: Ladies, I’m out here growing my wings too. Your girl finally signed up for her first college semester. School starts in two weeks.

FX: THE GIRLS SNAP IN CELEBRATION.

CHANISE: But no one has evolved more than you, Brianna. You’re about to be a whole momma.

BRIANNA: I’m definitely whole... an entire butterball.

RECEPTIONIST: Brianna Styles, come on back.

FX: THE GIRLS WALK BACK WITH BRIANNA.

FADE 

SCENE 1B

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - MORNING - CONTINUOUS

FX: MACHINES BEEPING.

CHANISE: So, what are you hoping for?

BRIANNA: With all the geriatric baby talk, I just hope he or she is healthy. (BEAT) Chanise, help me with this pant leg.

FX: BRIANNA STRUGGLES WITH HER PANTS.

HOPE: You’ve been healthy, still working out, and seem like you’re getting plenty of rest. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

CHANISE: I don’t know, Bri; the way that stomach sits, I’m telling you it’s definitely a boy.

BRIANNA: It doesn’t look like much with my clothes on, but with my clothes off...

HOPE: Bam!

BRIANNA: No need for the sound effects, Hope.

HOPE: I’m sorry. Let me hold your lox and bagels for you.

BRIANNA: Touch it and die.

FX: THE DOCTOR KNOCKS ON THE DOOR AND ENTERS.

DOCTOR: Good morning, Brianna. (BEAT) Ladies.

ALL THREE: Morning.

DOCTOR: Today is the big gender reveal. So, without further ado, Brianna, you know the drill.

FX: BRIANNA GETS ON THE TABLE.

DOCTOR: I see you finally caved in.  (beat) Excuse my hands. They are a little cold.  

FX: BABY MONITOR.

DOCTOR: There’s the head.

CHANISE: Whose head is that? Girl, you might need a DNA test.

BRIANNA: Hmph. Look who’s talking. I thought you were going to need one last summer.

CHANISE: Legend scared the fuck out of me with that one.

FLASHBACK - (PRE-RECORDED)

LEGEND: I’m trying to make sense of a few things too. I got my ancestry chart back from Judy.

CHANISE: That’s good. What did it say?

LEGEND: It also included a DNA test. It says Lionel isn’t my father. So, who is he?

PRE-RECORDING ENDS

FX: THERE’S A LONG SILENCE. YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP.

CHANISE: What did you just say?

LEGEND: Cap, Momma! Cap!

CHANISE: Boy!

BACK TO REALITY

CHANISE: Legend plays entirely too much. But a bish had to think for a minute.

HOPE: I bet he had you scrambling for your dickfolio.

CHANISE: Don’t remind me.

FX: THE DOCTOR CLEARS HIS THROAT.

DOCTOR: And here’s the heartbeat.

FX: WE HEAR A HEARTBEAT.

ALL THE LADIES: Awwww.

BRIANNA: Hope, are you crying?

HOPE: Look at those tiny feet.

DOCTOR: Are you ready? Here goes the real reveal. (SLOWLY) You are... having a boy.

CHANISE: I knew it! I told you.

HOPE: You’re going to be a boy mom!

FX: SUDDENLY, WE HEAR TWO HEARTBEATS AT DIFFERENT PACES.

DOCTOR: Wait a minute. Sshhh. You hear that?

BRIANNA: Doc, what’s that? Is everything okay?

CHANISE: Sounds like…

DOCTOR: Two heartbeats.

BRIANNA: What? Doctor?

HOPE: Oh my goodness!

DOCTOR: Brianna, you’re having twins, and it looks like the other heartbeat belongs to a girl!

BRIANNA: Twins?

CHANISE: Oh shit!

HOPE: Whoooooo hoooooo!

BRIANNA: Noooo! Whooo hooo!

CHANISE: Bri?

FX: BRIANNA CRIES OUT

BRIANNA: Doc, you did this to me! Take them out! Take it out!

CHANISE: Bri, Bri. Come here.

FX: CHANISE PULLS BRIANNA IN CLOSE FOR A HUG, RUFFLING HER CLOTHES. BRIANNA SOBS QUIETLY IN HER ARMS.

BRIANNA: I’m going to kill him.

HOPE: Bri, don’t.

BRIANNA: Help me up.

DOCTOR: I’ll let myself out.

FX: THE DOCTOR HURRIES OUT OF THE ROOM. BRIANNA SNIFFLES AND EXHALES.

CHANISE: It’s going to be okay. Two is always better than one.

BRIANNA: (V.O.) Two babies? I didn’t ask for this. That’s double the expenses, stretch marks, swelling, back pain. And my poor hoo-ha! What will Jamie think? I’m going to be fat forever. I want my mommy!

BRIANNA: (CRIES OUT) Where’s my lox and bagel?

FADE

SCENE 2A

INT. PARAMOUNT STUDIO LOT

FX: THE LOT IS BUSY AND BUZZING.

HOPE: (V.O.) There’s nothing like being in a place where you feel like you totally belong. My days of sneaking onto lots are behind me. This feeling of accomplishment and sense of being looks good on me. I’m walking  to the set, and I nearly passed out when I saw supermodel Dede Klum—her new show shoots on the same lot. She even waved at me. A writer’s assistant is just the tip of the iceberg. I plan on going all the way to showrunner. Just wait and see. Oh, here’s the sound stage.

FADE

SCENE 2B

INT. WRITER’S ROOM – TV SHOW

FX: TALKING SOUNDS.

HOPE: (V.O.) Here goes nothing.

FX: HOPE OPENS THE DOOR. SHE IS MET BY ALEX, ONE OF THE HEAD WRITERS.

ALEX: (WHISPERS) Hi, I’m Alex. I didn’t think you were going to make it.

HOPE: Am I late?

ALEX: No, but you always want to be here before us.

HOPE: Oh.

ALEX: Come on. Let me introduce you.

FX: ALEX OPENS ANOTHER DOOR, AND THEY ENTER TO SOUNDS OF LAUGHTER AND CHATTER.

ALEX: I found her. She just got turned around. Right, Hope?

HOPE: Ummm, yes. Made that right by the props, and then it was a wrap.

ALEX: Hope, that’s Maxwell, the showrunner. Rachel—she’s a writer. Don’t look directly at her. Ever. Greg, he’s a writer. Hide your man when he’s around. Just kidding. Don’t worry; you’ll do great as long as you listen and take great notes.

MAXWELL: Hope, welcome aboard. Take a seat, and let’s dive in. Alright, everyone, let’s get started.

FX: HOPE SITS IN A SEAT.

ALEX: Hope, not there. There.

HOPE: (V.O.) As I rose from the table to go to a desk pushed against the back wall, slightly turned toward the writers' table, it almost felt like time-out. It’s giving initiation. Right then and there, I decided to be the best damn gopher, note-taker, and assistant they’d ever seen. 

FADE

SCENE 3

INT. COMMUNITY COLLEGE

FX: CHANISE WALKS THROUGH THE CAMPUS.

CHANISE: (V.O.) Going back to school has been on my list for years. With all the new technology, it’s sure as hell a lot easier. I needed to come in today and finalize a few things, but I feel hella old walking around this campus. All these kids running around here twerking and skateboarding, and I’m over here looking like somebody’s Aunt Mabel. I know I can’t be the only one going back to school. This is pretty embarrassing, but on the other hand, I do feel proud of myself. One thing my mom always said—and she never said much that I could take seriously—was, “It’s better late than never.” That was usually when she missed her period, but anyways, I think I can apply that to this. I just wish I would have done this sooner. Damn, where is the bookstore?

FX: PEOPLE SKATING BY.

CHANISE: Excuse me.

COLLEGE GUY: How can I help you, momma?

CHANISE: Can you point me in the direction of the bookstore?

COLLEGE GUY: No bookstore. All of our books are online.

FX: PEOPLE SKATING BY.

CHANISE: I knew that.

COLLEGE GUY: Can I get those digits?

CHANISE: Boy, I’m old enough to be your mama.

COLLEGE GUY: Can I borrow $5?

FADE

SCENE 4

INT. BRIANNA’S TOWNHOUSE

JAMIE: I thought we agreed we’d wait to find out the sex.

BRIANNA: No, you said you didn’t want to know.

JAMIE: Why would you go without me?

BRIANNA: I’m really not in the mood to argue about this.

JAMIE: I’m not arguing; we’re having a discussion.

BRIANNA: You said you didn’t want to know.

JAMIE: What if I changed my mind?

BRIANNA: How am I supposed to know that?

JAMIE: You could have asked. Just like you asked for my sperm. Just like that.

BRIANNA: Always throwing your sperm in my face! Fine. Let’s argue. I’ve actually been wanting to ask you something.

JAMIE: What?

BRIANNA: Give me a second.Where is. 

FX: BRIANNA PULLS OUT A FOLDER.

JAMIE: Pregnancy brain acting up again?

BRIANNA: You know I hate when you say that. Actually, I was just thinking maybe you should sign over your parental rights. That way, you and your sperm can have your freedom back. I mean, you have your whole life ahead of you—why waste it here?

JAMIE: You mean waste it being in my kid…OUR kids’ lives? Or do you mean with you?

BRIANNA: Both.

JAMIE: How many times do we have to go over this? I’m not going anywhere. I’m not some toy boy you can pick up off the shelf, play with, and put back. I’m 29 now. Almost 30.

FX: BRIANNA CHUCKLES.

JAMIE: Oh, that’s funny?

BRIANNA: You just looked so cute up there—and a lot quieter.

JAMIE: I’m tired of you trying to decide for me.

BRIANNA: The doctor said we’re having twins.

JAMIE: Whoa! Whaaat the…

BRIANNA: I know. I can’t believe it either. This is…

FX: JAMIE RUNS OVER AND KISSES ALL OVER BRIANNA.

JAMIE: My seeds bloom!

BRIANNA: (Feeling more relaxed) You’re okay with it?

JAMIE: Why wouldn’t I be? I love you.

BRIANNA: You love me?

FX: JAMIE GRABS HIS JACKET, PULLS IT ON, AND OPENS THE DOOR.

BRIANNA: Where are you going?

JAMIE: I have to tell my mom—we’re having TWINS!

FX: JAMIE KISSES ALL OVER BRIANNA. SHE SURRENDERS TO THE MOMENT.

BRIANNA: (V.O.) I wasn’t expecting that. Last time I saw Jamie that excited was when I gave him a boob job.

FX: BRIANNA’S STOMACH GROWLS AS SHE HEARS HIS CAR REVVING UP.

BRIANNA: Damn, I forgot to ask him to bring back a snack.

FX: BRIANNA OPENS THE DOOR.

BRIANNA: Jamie!

FADE

SCENE 5

INT. COLLEGE

FX: CHANISE’S FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. SHE IS OUT OF BREATH WALKING TO CLASS. THE CLASS BELL RINGS.

CHANISE (V.O.): It’s my first day of school, and I’m going to be sweaty as hell by the time I get to my seat. I don’t understand why the parking lots are so damn far away. Now my bad knee is acting up. I see why everyone owns a scooter or a skateboard around here. (beat) I was terrified I wouldn’t make it in time, but I got my shift done faster than ever today. I might have even broken a world record for the fastest mail delivery. I was quick like that in high school. I should have run track.

FX: CHANISE ENTERS CLASS. A PROFESSOR IS WRITING ON THE CHALKBOARD.

PROF. HANKS: Everyone, find a seat.

CHANISE (V.O.): As I found a seat, I couldn’t forget that voice from anywhere. My professor is Hank the Hit Man. I can’t win! When I first started delivering mail, this man would hit on me every which way but loose. He would not take no for an answer. For years, he’d wait by the mailbox for his mail, ready to pounce. Oh, fuck! We just locked eyes. Here he comes. Smile, Chanise, smile.

PROF. HANKS: Channy the mail gal, is that you?

CHANISE: You caught me. Hi, Hank.

PROF. HANKS: Darn, how many years has it been, Channy? You still look like my favorite snack. Hammocks and red beans. Ummmmmmm.

CHANISE: It’s Chanise. It’s been way too long. How are you?

PROF. HANKS: I always knew you looked too good for a uniform. This ain’t no pencil. I’m happy to see you.

CHANISE: Come on now, Professor.

PROF. HANKS: Stop with the formalities. (beat) Now, you let me know if you need a night tutor. I don’t mind a little bump and grind.

FX: PROFESSOR HANKS LAUGHS AS HE WALKS AWAY.

PROF. HANKS: Let’s catch up later. Okay, everyone, please take a syllabus and pass it around.

CHANISE (V.O.): I don’t know if I can handle an entire semester of this. He’s lucky I need to pass the class. I should have cussed him the fuck out. Chill, Chanise. Chill.

FX: CHANISE TAKES A SEAT AND EXHALES.

JAYLA: Excuse me, Ms. Adams? Is that you?

CHANISE: It depends on who’s asking.

JAYLA: It’s me, Jayla. Legend’s ex.

CHANISE (V.O.): Little Jayla ain’t so little anymore, damn. As a matter of fact, her body is bodying. What the hell are these kids eating these days? I need to get some. Oh, I remember her, alright. I caught her hiding in my linen closet after Legend snuck her in the house one night when I came back early from a work trip. Talking about she was helping him fold clothes. I don’t know who they thought they were fooling. 

JAYLA: I was low-key thinking you’d be like, “Who dis?” I mean, I was never sure if we were vibing; Legend said you liked me. Your fits were always on fleek. Well, today I’ll give you a 5.
(beat) This is going to be so much fun.

CHANISE (V.O.): For who?

FADE

SCENE 6

INT. CLOTHING STORE

FX: CHANISE, BRIANNA, AND HOPE BROWSE THE RACKS.

CHANISE: Thanks, guys, for coming with me to get my wardrobe together. I have to get my fashion game back.

BRIANNA: I think it’s kind of nice that Jayla is there. Now you have a college friend to kind of show you the ropes.

CHANISE: She’s twenty. What am I going to learn from her? There’s not a rope I haven’t climbed. The only thing she can show me is who her cosmetic surgeon is. You should see her!

BRIANNA: Don’t even.

CHANISE: This girl went from SpongeBob SquarePants to Wonder Woman. I mean, where do they get this money from?

BRIANNA: Jumping around on that Tok Tok. (beat) Chanise, I don’t know what you’re so worried about—you don’t look your age.

HOPE: It’s Tik Tok.

CHANISE: Yes, Hope, I know that. But the kids dress more chilled out and relaxed these days. I’m already 20 years older than most of my class. I don’t want to look like it.

BRIANNA: Come down to the shop, Chanise, and I’ll put some of those bantu knots in your hair.

CHANISE: Oh, yeah. I’ve been seeing those.

HOPE: Really?

BRIANNA: Hope, finish telling us about your week.

HOPE: So you know all the players, and actually, during lunch, Rachel said she couldn’t wait to hear my pitches. I’m not sure if she really meant that or if she couldn’t wait to shoot them down, but I’m getting closer to that table. Then there’s Greg—he’s been there the longest.

CHANISE: You said that.

HOPE: And he asked me to help him do some research for his script. Although I’m still moonlighting for 92.9 FM, I’m going to make time to help him.

CHANISE: Sounds like another Vivian Sosa situation to me.

BRIANNA: Chanise! (beat) Hope, if you want to schmooze a little to see what you get back, do that. You never know where a little schmoozing can take you. Vivian took me all over the world.

CHANISE: Don’t mind me, Hope. Go ahead and kiss some ass.

BRIANNA: Jamie was so upset about me finding out the sex without him. Then, when I told him I’m having twins, he acted so happy. He even told me he loved me. He hasn’t said that since…

CHANISE: I know. The last time you gave him a boob job.

BRIANNA: I’m just wondering if I’m looking at this all wrong. Maybe he’s more than just a donor. Maybe he wants to be a dad.

CHANISE: He’s a dad, Brianna. Give him a chance. You never know what it will look like on the other side.

FADE