Chanise finds out Mikal is dating someone new. Rumors about Hope are swirling through the writer’s room, adding to the tension. Elsewhere, Brianna wrestles with the emotional challenges of pregnancy, striving to maintain her composure despite her overbearing mother, Diana.
SEASON 3: EPISODE 17 (Baby Blues)
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Episode 17 I Baby Blues
Written by: Charli T. Savage
SCENE 1
INT. CHANISE'S MAIL ROUTE - DAY
FX: CHANISE’S DELIVERS MAIL. TRUCK DOOR CLOSES
CHANISE (V.O.) Alright, Chanise. You can do this. I decided I would stop by and say hi to Mikal. I mean, we are still friends. (beat) I do miss those arms, that body… Stop, Chanise, focus! Maybe I shouldn’t be in my uniform? Nah, this ass sits pretty in these shorts.
FX: DOORBELL RINGS
CHANISE: What the hell am I doing? I’m getting out of here.
FX: THE DOOR OPENS
MIKAL: Chanise? Hey! Where are you going?
CHANISE: Oh, I didn’t think you were home.
MIKAL: I’m working from home today. So, how have you been?
CHANISE: You know, living the dream. Listen, Mikal, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.
MIKAL: Everything okay?
CHANISE: Yeah, everything is fine. I just… I miss our talks, our laughs... So, I stopped by.
MIKAL: You know, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from me.
CHANISE: Maybe we should talk about this inside?
FX: BABYGIRL'S VOICE FROM INSIDE, IN THE DISTANCE, APPROACHING
BABYGIRL: Mikal, baby, are you coming back…?
CHANISE: (V.O.) Baby?
BABYGIRL: Oh, hello. Any packages today? I was hoping that my new Chanel would arrive today. I’m such a lucky girl.
CHANISE: No packages today. Bye, Mikal.
BABYGIRL: Did I say something wrong?
MIKAL: Chanise, wait! Please don't leave like this.
FX: MIKAL CHASES AFTER HER
CHANISE: Go back inside, Mikal. Looks like you’re working real hard. I’ll keep an eye out for that Chanel bag.
FX: MIKAL HEADS BACK TO THE FRONT DOOR
BABYGIRL: Mikal, baby I’m hiding. Come and find me.
FADE
SCENE 2
EXT. BEVY BABY BOUTIQUE - DAY
FX: SOFT LULLABIES
CHANISE: Did we have to come to the bougiest baby store in Beverly Hills, Bri?
HOPE: This stroller is $1500!
BRIANNA: This trip is courtesy of Diana.
CHANISE: You know I’m always up for being adopted.
BRIANNA: From experience, I’m not sure you want that. I’m so happy she’s excited, but she's smothering me.
CHANISE: She’s gotta understand the baby needs love, not golden rattles like this one… that cost more than my rent!
FX: A BABY RATTLE | A BABY IN THE DISTANCE LAUGHS
BRIANNA: Oh, look at her baby. She’s a doll.
YOUNG MOM: Thank you. She’s my one and only. Bella, three months. And congrats to you! Boy or girl?
BRIANNA: Both!
YOUNG MOM: Oh my! I can barely keep up with one. I couldn't imagine having two.
FX: THE YOUNG COUPLE SMOOCH
YOUNG DAD: Hey, baby. I was looking for you and my little chicken nugget.
FX: THE BABY COOS
YOUNG MOM: Just chatting with these ladies. I won’t be long.
YOUNG DAD: I ran across the street and picked up your favorite mango smoothie. Thought it might help keep your energy up.
YOUNG MOM: Aww, baby, you didn't have to do that. Thank you!
BRIANNA: (V.O.) Wow, he read her mind. I wish Jamie would do that. I would love a strawberry smoothie right now.
YOUNG DAD: I’m going to head to check-out. Take your time. Nice meeting you ladies.
YOUNG MOM: Thanks, baby. I won’t be long.
HOPE: I see where she gets her eyes from.
FX: THE BABY GIGGLES
HOPE: She is so adorable! May I hold her?
CHANISE: Now you know you don’t go around asking to hold people’s babies! Excuse my unsanitized friend.
YOUNG MOM: It’s okay, she loves new people. Bella has never met a stranger. Here you go.
FX: THE BABY CRIES | HOPE STRUGGLES
CHANISE: Hope, try supporting her head!
HOPE: I thought that’s what I was doing!
BRIANNA: Hope, cradle the baby. She’s not a football!
HOPE (V.O.) What is everyone’s problem? I am very capable of holding a damn baby. She smiled at me, so I know she likes me. Suddenly, I’m the amateur in the room. She kinda smells.
FX: THE BABY CRIES LOUDER
HOPE: I think she needs changing.
FX: THE YOUNG MOM SNIFFS
YOUNG MOM: You’re right. I better get her a fresh diaper. Nice to meet you all. Say bye, Bella.
FX: THE BABY CRIES EVEN LOUDER
CHANISE: Well, that went well.
BRIANNA: You just need a bit more practice, that's all.
HOPE: Practice? Auntie Hope doesn’t need practice. I've had plenty of practice. I volunteered at the Children’s Hospital during Christmas last year and loved all the preemies. I have talked to my niece at least once a month since she was four. Oh, and Chanise remembers when I would babysit Legend and bake cookies with him.
CHANISE: You mean the time you almost killed my baby making him peanut butter cookies.
HOPE: You never told me he had a peanut allergy.
BRIANNA: Why haven’t I ever heard this story?
HOPE: It’s old tea. Stale. Cold. (beat) Anyway, let me put this rattle back on the shelf. Lord knows I can't afford it. I’ll be right back.
BRIANNA: (Whispers) Chanise, can I talk to you about something?
CHANISE: Sure, what’s going on?
BRIANNA: You know we always talk about family and support?
CHANISE: Yeah, chicks before dicks.
BRIANNA: I want you to be a big part of my baby's life in a big way. I so admire how well you raised Legend, and I would love your influence. I want you to be their godmother.
CHANISE: Wait, are you serious?
FX: BRIANNA LAUGHS HAPPILY
BRIANNA: So, will you do it?
CHANISE: Yes, yes, of course! I'd be honored to be your kids' godmother.
HOPE: Godmother? What did I miss?
CHANISE: Brianna asked me to be the godmother. I saw the God Mamma section in the front. (beat) Ma’am! Do you have this in a large? I’ll be right back.
HOPE: What about me?
BRIANNA: You have your career; when will you have time for us?
HOPE: The same way I make time for you now.
CHANISE: Ladies, check this out. How does it look?
BRIANNA: I love it.
HOPE: I’m out of here.
BRIANNA: Hope, stay. Where are you going?
CHANISE: I got you one too.
FADE
SCENE 3
INT. WRITER’S ROOM - MORNING
FX: COFFEE POURS INTO A CUP | CHATTER IN THE BACKGROUND
HOPE (V.O.)I never knew being a mother was a prerequisite to being a godmother. I bet she’s still mad at me for what happened with Jamie? I thought we were over that. I’m going to show them. Rich Auntie in full effect, and those babies will be asking about me. (beat) Pouring coffee for others all day, way to go, rich auntie. But at least my hard work and patience are finally paying off.
RACHEL: Hope! How are you this morning?
HOPE: Oh hey, Rachel. I’m okay, I have…
RACHEL: Greeeeaaaatttt…. Can you get me a Splenda for my coffee? You used sugar last time, and I’m trying to get my summer body ready. As the writer’s assistant, you really gotta remember these things.
HOPE: Sure thing, Rachel.
RACHEL: You’re a lifesaver! You know, Hope, I've been hearing some interesting things around the office lately.
HOPE: What kind of interesting things?
RACHEL: Water cooler talk, really. Rumors about how you've been in the mix, and, well... Some are saying it might not just be your talent that's been getting you head—I mean, ahead. I’ve seen you stopping by Maxwell’s office, you do understand how that looks.
HOPE: No, how does meeting with my boss about work look?
RACHEL: Look, Hope, I'm not here to judge. But I've seen it happen before. Watch yourself.
HOPE: Sounds judgey.
RACHEL: I’m just saying, a pretty woman like yourself…
HOPE: I don’t appreciate being labeled. I can’t help it if he recognizes my talents and not yours.
RACHEL: I’m just wondering WHICH talent he is recognizing. And I’m not talking about your coffee skills.
FX: RACHEL TAKES THE COFFEE AND DRINKS IT.
RACHEL: Although, you’re getting really good at this.
HOPE: I’m glad you like it. I added a special touch just for you.
FX: RACHEL SPITS OUT THE COFFEE
RACHEL: Oh, shit. Shit, shit!
HOPE: Coffee, anyone?
FADE
SCENE 4
INT. BRIANNA’S BEAUTY BOX - MORNING
FX: HAIRDRYERS AND SHOP CHATTER
BRIANNA (V.O.) I’ve really gotta talk to Diana. What are all these boxes? Now that there’s no more room at my house, she’s shipping it to the salon. I love that she's happy about the twins' arrival, but it’s becoming a lot. I don’t have room for another rocking chair or bottle warmer. And what the hell is she carrying in here now?
DIANA: Brianna, darling. Can you open the door for me?
BRIANNA: Mom, what is this? I don’t need a life-sized stuffed lion.
DIANA: Honey, this is for the twins' nursery. This isn’t just a stuffed animal. This is a majestic lion, crafted from the finest alpaca wool, its mane meticulously hand-stitched with strands of pure silk. Every detail, from its lifelike eyes to the intricately embroidered paws, exudes sophistication and charm. This lion is a symbol of strength, protection, and royalty. Just what Glam-ma’s babies need.
BRIANNA: Mmhmm. And how much did this royal lion cost you?
DIANA: $4500.
BRIANNA: Mom! I appreciate the sentiment, but you know we've talked about this.
DIANA: Darling, I just want to ensure our babies…
BRIANNA: My babies…
DIANA: Your babies, my grandbabies, feel the love and attention needed. Why are you trying to control what I do? I’ve been a mother a few more years than you. Trust me, I know what you need. Speaking of, you may want to lay off the salty foods for a while. Your face is starting to look quite full.
BRIANNA: Yeah, you think I don’t know that? (BEAT) Diana, it's not about the gifts or money. It's about being present, showing up for us in the little moments. I don’t want you to think you have to shower them with anything but your love.
FX: DIANA SIGHS.
DIANA: Fine, I will try to be MORE present and give fewer presents. Only to keep your stress levels down. I don’t need my babies coming earlier than they should.
BRIANNA: Thank you for understanding. I know how…
FX: A CELL PHONE RINGS
DIANA: One moment, dear. I need to take this call. [BEAT] Hello? Yes. Ah yes, you can back up right in the front. Thank you!
FX: SOUNDS OF A TRUCK BACKING UP
BRIANNA: Diana? What’s backing up?
DIANA: One last delivery.
FX: BRIANNA LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW. SIGHS
BRIANNA: Not a castle playhouse. Oh, Diana.
FADE
SCENE 5
INT. CHANISE’S HOUSE – BEDROOM - NIGHT
FX: SOFT MUSIC PLAYS | WINE IS POURED
CHANISE: (V.O.)I knew I shouldn’t have gone begging back to a porn star! He definitely wanted me to know he had someone in there; if not, why would he even answer the damn door? He was probably trying to invite me into some type of ménage à trois. A leopard never changes his spots. In this case, he’s a snake, and he never sheds his skin. Wait, snakes do shed their skin. Fuck him. (Deep breath) Maybe I should just text Lionel. (BEAT) . No, I’m sick of going backwards. The same old territory; it’s time I just did it. It just feels so desperate, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but… let's see what the world of online dating has for me.
FX: CHANISE TYPING ON HER PHONE
CHANISE: Name? Chanise. Age? Fort… thirty-nine. Height? Tall enough to ride the ride, ha ha. 5’7”. Hmm, should I add a little spice to this? Maybe a cheeky booty pic? No, no, I’m classier than that. But then again, who doesn’t appreciate a nice view? Decisions, decisions. And done.
FX: CHANISE'S FINGER SWIPING MAKES A WHOOSH SOUND
CHANISE: Damn. Nope. Swipe left. Definitely too short, to the left, to the left. Oh, please, not another gym selfie. Nope. Is that an air mattress in the back? Hell no. Hmm, Arnesto, huh? Well, you’re wearing those gray sweatpants. Hmmm, and you’re kinda fine with your shirt off. 45, no kids, and look at that, we both hate cilantro! Swipe right!
FX: RIGHT SWIPE SOUND | “YOU MATCHED!” SOUNDS
CHANISE: Damn, that was quick! But I mean, I wouldn't swipe left on me either. (beat) New voice message from Arnesto.
FX: NEW MESSAGE SOUND | CLICKS TO OPEN
ARNESTO: Hey there, Chanise! Your profile pic caught my eye. You’re equally beautiful and interesting. Excited to get to know the woman behind the charming smile. What are we doing this weekend?
CHANISE: Why don’t you tell me? I love surprises.
FADE
SCENE 6
INT. RADIO STATION 98.9 FM
FX: PRE-RECORDED ADS PLAYING
HOPE: (V.O.) Working at the radio station and working as a writer’s assistant has been exhausting. Staying up late at night going through script notes and then trying to stay on track with what’s happening with the culture—oooo-weee it’s been a struggle. One thing for sure is, I’ve faced harder trials than this at Alter Ego, so I’ll get through this.
FX: CO-HOST SNAPS FINGERS
CO-HOST: Hope! Hope! Hello?
HOPE: Yes, sorry?
CO-HOST: We’re back on in 5. Are you okay?
FX: PRE-RECORDED INTRO PLAYS
CO-HOST: Welcome back, listeners, to another lively morning here at 98.9 FM. Last night, as many of you may have seen, there was quite the buzz at the awards show. It seems an actress had a wardrobe malfunction, causing quite the stir on social media.
HOPE: Oh, yes, I saw that! It was... um... Emma Hompson, right?
CO-HOST: Actually, it was Emma Katson, but close enough. Let’s stay sharp, Hope.
HOPE: Right, right. Sorry about that, folks. The coffee hasn’t kicked in just yet.
HOPE (V.O.) Get it together, Hope! Shit!
CO-HOST: Now, switching gears, don’t forget the annual prom dress drive for local teens is coming up. Mark your calendars.
HOPE: Wait, I thought that prom already happened.
CO-HOST: Maybe you need a couple more lumps of sugar in that coffee?
HOPE: [Nervous laughing] Maybe an extra cup of it instead.
CO-HOST: Alrighty, we gotta pay some bills around here. A short commercial break and we'll catch you on the flip side. Remember, when it's happening in LA, it's happening on 98.9 FM radio!
FX: COMMERCIAL BREAK THEMES
CO-HOST: Hope, you're all over the place today. You keep getting the facts wrong. You do understand that we have a reputation to uphold here?
HOPE: I know, I'm sorry. I've just been... distracted.
CO-HOST: Distracted? We're live on air. I've noticed you've been writing a lot more during our time slots. I’m happy you’re getting to create, but there's a time and a place. (beat) We have a line out the door of people waiting for your spot. No more mistakes.
HOPE: I understand. I’m with you. I’m with you.
FADE
SCENE 7
INT. SINNERS AND SAINTS RESTAURANT – NIGHT
FX: GLASSES CLINK IN THE BACKGROUND, SOUNDS OF WINE BOTTLES BEING POPPED
CHANISE (V.O.) I feel so stupid sitting at this table waiting for someone I met on the internet. What has the world come to? Please don’t let this man be a serial killer.
ARNESTO: Chanise?
FX: CHANISE TURNS AROUND IN HER SEAT AND GETS UP
CHANISE: Hi, Arnesto.
CHANISE (V.O.) Thank GOD! He looks just like his picture. Damn, he’s fine.
ARNESTO: May I? I’m a hugger, and if you don’t mind me saying, I’m so glad you look like your photo.
CHANISE: You don’t have to worry about any catfishing over here.
ARNESTO: Mmm, you smell nice.
FX: A CHAIR SLIDES BACK
CHANISE: Thank you. You smell really good yourself.
ARNESTO: It’s my secret potion. If you hang around long enough, I will create something angelic for you.
CHANISE (V.O.) Hmmmm. Keep talking like that, and Imma lay you down and snatch your soul so you can see what Heaven looks like.
CHANISE: This restaurant is a great choice.
WAITER: Good evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?
ARNESTO: Yes, I'll have a bottle of your Château Margaux red wine for the lady.
CHANISE (V.O.) He’s so cultured and sophisticated. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds like a week’s pay at my house.
WAITER: Excellent choice. I'll bring that right over.
CHANISE: Let me guess, you were a sommelier in your past life too?
ARNESTO: Let’s just say I have a taste for the finer things in life. I believe that gentleman over there will second my sentiments. He’s been watching us since I got here. Do you know him?
CHANISE: Where?
CHANISE (V.O.) Damn! It’s Mikal? He’s here with that heffa from the other day. I’m so glad I’m here with Arnesto. He wants to watch, then I’m going to give him something to look at.
ARNESTO: Do you know the guy? Or should I tell him to focus on his own paper?
CHANISE: That’s not necessary. He’s just some old friend. Do you mind if I sit a little closer to you?
ARNESTO: Who wouldn’t want a goddess sitting…
FX: CHAIR PUSHES BACK. CHANISE SLIDES ONTO HIS LAP
ARNESTO: …on his lap. Oh.
CHANISE: I couldn't hear you all the way over there.
WAITER: Here’s your wine, sir, ma’am.
FX: WINE IS POURED INTO A COUPLE OF GLASSES
CHANISE: Just in time for a toast.
CHANISE (V.O.) Yeah, keep your eyes on this, Mikal.
CHANISE: To us.
ARNESTO: To us.
FX: WINE GLASSES CLINK TOGETHER. ARNESTO LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
ARNESTO: This is nice.
CHANISE (V.O.) Take it all in, Arnie. My perky boobs and these thick thighs all over your body. Look at Mikal over there. You wish you could be between these legs again, you dirty mother...
ARNESTO: Now, don’t wake the dragon, Chanise.
CHANISE: Ooo, I like to role-play. I’ll be the dragon slayer.
FX: WINE GLASSES CLINK TOGETHER. ARNESTO LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
ARNESTO: Honestly, this is a little much for me. I prefer to keep things respectful between us.
CHANISE: (V.O.) He’s feeding her! Really? Really? Oh, he’s looking over here again.
FX: PASSIONATE & AGGRESSIVE KISSING. ARNESTO IS RELUCTANT
CHANISE (V.O.) Next thing I knew, I had my tongue down this man’s throat.
ARNESTO: What the hell are you doing?!
CHANISE: I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate you.
ARNESTO: Exactly how long has it been since you’ve been on a decent date?
CHANISE: A year?
ARNESTO: It looks like I left my wallet in the car. Excuse me for a minute, Chanise.
FX: A CHAIR PUSHES BACK | SHOES CLICK ACROSS THE FLOOR
CHANISE (V.O.) Shit, they left. And of course, not so much as a wave.
WAITER: Did you enjoy the wine?
CHANISE: Yes, it was very good. My date has amazing taste. I think we’ll be ordering some dinner soon.
WAITER: [Clears throat] He left.
CHANISE (V.O.) I think I got ghosted.
FADE
SCENE 8
INT. GRIFFITH PARK HIKING TRAIL - DAY
FX: THE LADIES ARE HIKING
CHANISE: Hope, I can pull up if you want. Sometimes bullies like her just need to see your team.
HOPE: I can handle her. I hope the others don’t think the rumors are true.
BRIANNA: Hope, are they true?
HOPE: No!
BRIANNA: Then you don’t have to worry about it. I mean, as long as you’re not hiding a lie about sleeping around AGAIN, then ignore them.
CHANISE: I admire that about you, Hope. When you need it, you get it. I couldn’t give this pussy away if I tried. Well, I did try the other night…
HOPE: What?
CHANISE: Yeah, I went on one of those stupid dates you go on from It’s Complicated, and it got so damn complicated that my date ghosted me.
BRIANNA: Chanise, what happened?
CHANISE: Girl,I saw Mikal out on a date at the same time. Sitting right across from us, and I found myself trying to outdo his shit, and my date wasn’t having it.
HOPE: Damn, what did you do?
CHANISE: Ask me what I didn’t do. I didn’t pay that man any attention. I didn’t respect his space. I didn’t care what he thought. All I was worried about was Mikal and the tramp. I felt like a fool when I realized he’s dating someone, and it’s not me.
BRIANNA: I feel like you’re always playing this little cat-and-mouse game with him. Why don’t you just, once and for all, tell him how you feel?
CHANISE: When did we start doing that?
BRIANNA: Well, I don't know about you, but I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of being around other moms and acting like being fat is so beautiful and not being able to tie my own shoes is such a journey. Pregnancy is disgusting. I’m tinkling on myself, I’m sore, and I can’t fit any of my clothes. (BEAT) I can’t see my no-no parts anymore, and I really want to touch them.
CHANISE: No-no parts?
HOPE: It’s the pregnancy brain.
BRIANNA: Sex is all I think about. I tried to think about something else, but it didn't help. I tried to do it myself, but I can’t see anything down…(emotional there because I’m fat and round..
CHANISE: It’s normal to be a little extra horny during pregnancy… Damn, but you’re being hella dramatic.
BRIANNA: Trust me. It’s not a little horny. I feel like I’m about to explode.
CHANISE: Call Jamie and let him blow your back out tonight.
BRIANNA: He is coming to put the babies’ crib together later tonight. What if he thinks I’m gross for asking? I mean, how do I bring it up?
HOPE: Just be creative with it.
BRIANNA: Really, Hope? What would you suggest?
HOPE: Did I say something?
FADE
SCENE 9
INT. BRIANNA’S HOUSE – SHOWER - NIGHT
FX: MOANS AND WHIMPERS FILL THE AIR AS BRIANNA ATTEMPTS TO MASTURBATE, GRUNTING WITH EFFORT.
BRIANNA: (V.O.) I couldn’t get up the nerve to ask Jamie about us getting it in, so while he fixed the crib, I figured I would take care of myself. So, I’m taking a nice long warm shower.
FX: BRIANNA STRUGGLES, HER BREATHING HEAVY.
BRIANNA (V.O.) Okay, Brianna, get out of your head.
FX: SOUNDS OF A VIBRATOR
BRIANNA: (V.O.) There we go. [Beat] Wait. Wait, what was that?
FX: THE VIBRATOR STOPS
BRIANNA: I can't even...
FX: SAD SIGH
BRIANNA: I can’t do this by myself...
FX: KNOCKS ON THE DOOR
JAMIE (O.S.): Bri, are you okay?
FX: JAMIE ENTERS THE BATHROOM.
BRIANNA: Don’t look at me.
JAMIE: What’s going on?
FX: JAMIE UNDRESSES
BRIANNA: What are you doing?
JAMIE: I’m coming in.
FX: JAMIE OPENS THE SHOWER DOOR AND CLIMBS IN
JAMIE: Bri, listen to me. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever known. And right now, in this moment, you're glowing with a kind of beauty I've never seen before.
BRIANNA: What are you saying?
JAMIE: I want you.
BRIANNA: You do?
FX: GENTLE KISSING
JAMIE: You don't have to do this alone. Here, let me help you.
FX: A VIBRATOR CLICKS ON AND VIBRATES
BRIANNA: GENTLE MOANING
FADE